Monday, December 23, 2013

Not So Bright...

It's Christmas time! Normally that is a synonym of happiness and joy, of giving and receiving. Happy times. But not for you, not really. 

For you, Christmas is just a remainder that last year around this time your thoughts weren't that bright. In fact, they were so dark they led you to almost doing something dreadful, and I can only be grateful for whatever reason made you change your mind at the last second. 

But that is not what really scares me the most. Yes, you tried, and it frightens me to think whether you will attempt that again... What really scares me the most is that I was there - not physically, but there. I was there and didn't see that coming; I didn't notice your mind was clouded with such dark thoughts. And it makes me wonder if I was that absently or if you were just really good at hiding it. Honestly, I don't know which is worst.

I'd like to say I did better this year, better at spotting whenever you're mad or upset. Then again, to what extent do you let me see it? How much are you hiding?

I'll probably never fully understand you nor what led you to attempt that, but I swear I'll try my hardest to be there for you whenever you need me - even if you don't ask for help.

I just hope this year I've given you enough reasons to brighten up your mind... and make you stay.

It Feels Like Christmas | by - AndieMaars | On DeviantART

~Andie Maars

Hello fellow readers :D
I know, it's kind of dark for such a jolly season, but I needed to get it out of my system or I'd go nuts. 
Happy Holidays and I hope you have an awesome 2014 :D 

Saturday, December 7, 2013



As you can see, the blog went through a huge change: Lily is no longer posting. She certainly has her reasons, and life goes on...

So now is just me, Andie. Hope you'll still stick around :)

I'm thinking about start post not only long texts but shorter things, a little rambling now and then...That way I could post more often. What do you think?

Let me know please. And feel free to leave suggestion about anything, really anything. New ideias for posts, photos, even music to play here!

~Andie Maars

Friday, April 12, 2013

Happy Right Now

I did not ask for you to be perfect, nor I want you to be; I love you as you are and I don't want you to change.

I did not ask for a fairy tale, and I know it won't always be sunshine and butterflies. We'll have good days, not so good days and maybe even bad ones. There will be days when you'll doubt yourself and other when it will be me having doubts. But do not ever doubt I love you.  

I also did not ask for a "Happy Ever After", I asked for a "Happy Right Now" because life it's too short and I'll worry about tomorrow when tomorrow comes. You can say I deserve better and, honestly, I'm clueless about what life will bring, but I know that the best I know I have it in you. And, if you don't mind I stay, I'll stay, with you, in this something we have I like to call mine; ours.

I think you fail to see how important you are, how much it means to me to have you. And, putting aside all the fears and insecurities I also have, I'd rather have you focused on the "now" and let the "later" for another day.

I understand what goes on your mind, I understand the source of all the concerns, I really do. I understand how scary it can be to let something you can't control take over the reins, knowing that if it doesn't end like you wished and dreamed, or if it does end, you'll fall, it'll hurt, and it'll take a while for you to be back on your feet. And while a part of you wants to go with the flow and enjoy while it's good, the other wants you to stop right now - before the fall. I understand, I really do. But the journey it's different when you're not alone, and you have me.

Let me walk with you, side by side. Let me make mistakes with you and learn, with you also, to turn the wrong right and right what when awry. Because while you're by my side, I have my "Happy Right Now" and tomorrow... tomorrow can wait.

To Infinity... | by - AndieMaars | On DeviantART

~Andie Maars

Hello fellow readers :D

I'm sorry for the long absence, sometimes life just gets in the way... but I'll try to stop by more often.
So, what do you think? Is it any good? Let me know please :)
As usually, you can find that photo on my DeviantArt page, feel free to stop by and say Hi!

Monday, February 18, 2013

She still said yes [Beth]

She was perfectly aware of what she was getting into, when she first said yes. 

She knew it wouldn't be a fairy tale, far from that. She knew that it'd take a huge amount of hours, if not days, for him to make a tiny effort in contacting her.; it had always been her reaching for him, since day one, and she was aware of that. But she still said yes. She knew she'd never be his number one priority, "they" would always come before her. She knew that too. But she said yes, nevertheless. 

And even with all that, she kept telling herself she was happy. And she was, she truly was happy any time he was around; happy as she had never been before in her whole life. The sadness would only strike when she was alone... But she was happy, so she held to that happiness like it was life it self and made a promise to never let go. 

But then came the crappy excuses, given way too many times, that forced her to take a step back. When he finally confessed it was already too late to mend things, to mend trust. Even after she made him promise to never lie to her again, she still felt he was hiding things from her. Those little sarcastic comments he'd make now and then had her taking a few more steps back. Although all of that, she still felt safe with him, she still felt she could trust him her deepest secrets.
But she'd never be able to trust him as much as she used to, when she first said yes.
~Andie Maars

Hello fellow readers :D

Another "Beth" text, what do you think?
Let me hear your thoughts on this, will you?

Monday, January 28, 2013

Distance is a funny thing...

Distance is a funny thing.

Nothing ever seems too far until the moment you can't reach for it. You never realize how important those little moments are, until you spend a while without sharing them; taking for granted that they'll always be there, until they don't. Then the longing squeezes the heart a little harder that it usually does...

You might never have been a big fan of walking in the streets hand-by-hand, but suddenly the spaces between your fingers feel emptier than ever. You find yourself missing those sweet nothings once you though were too corny, that now fall, whispered, from you lips for the walls to catch them because the one they're meant to be is out of reach. 

"Out of sight, out of mind" 

And never anything else sounded so fake to your ears for you know that just because you can't see it, it doesn't make it any easier not to remember. And that's all you do when no one is looking - remembering. Remembering the laughs, the talks and the whispered confections. Replaying it all over and over again until you finally fall asleep, wishing, with all your strength, to dream of that in that night. And never before you had any problem in cutting your dreams short to wake up every morning, but now you'll beg for 5 more minutes so you can keep dreaming with the one that is far away.

You'll most surely end up questioning your sanity because that person is now stuck to your brain 24/7, and you don't even know why! And although you'd prefer to dream endlessly while you can't have the real thing, each night that comes and goes is one night closer to the day you'll finally meet...again.

~Andie Maars

Hello fellow readers (if there's still any)

Yes, I'm still alive! :D 

First, I'd like to apologize for the lack of posting; my life has been a mess but hopefully it will calm down soon. Second, I also realized Lily hasn't posted in a while. I'll check back at her and maybe soon you'll have something new from her here. (UPDATE 17/11/2013 - Lily says she probably won't ever post again here, dunno why. Her posts will remain if you want to read them again. You'll have to stick with just me now :D )
And last, but not least, I've been working on a few different things while I was away, so expect new things in a near future. Also, expect more about Beth; I'm not done with her yet :)