Friday, November 23, 2012


You were my bright light at the end of a dark tunnel I had been walking through for a long time; too long. You brought a smile to a face that never really had a real worthy reason to smile since...I don't even know when! And for all that, Thank you.

"Good things come to those who wait"

I had heard that sentence being said millions of times and not once before I had found it fair, hadn’t I already waited for so long, getting nothing but pain and sorrows. It seemed that only others could be happy, only others had good reasons to smile and something to expect...and I would just stand there feeling lost, like I didn't actually belong although I was a part of it. You changed that, too.

Every day I learn something new with you, and every day you bring new feelings to my heart, and although I welcome those feelings, I can't help to feel somehow scared because I can't fully understand most of it. And when you look at me, I feel...loved. And that seems unrealistic because I don't believe being worthy of that; I can't find anything in me that could possibly make you want to stay. You can call it stupidity, I call it insecurity. The insecurities of someone who never felt loved back. 

Sometimes things happen too fast and I need to take a step back and a deep breath so I won't freak out. But fear nothing and don't think for a second that I regret having you. No matter how scared I might sometimes look, or what happens in the future, I know for sure you are and will always be something important to me; and I'll never regret that, you.

I'm sorry. I feel the need to apologize for all the words I can't say and should. It's something the heart feels but the mouth can't say...But I'll get there, eventually; make it a promise, I swear it will come the day when I’ll be finally able to let you know all you mean to me. For the time being know I feel the exact same, if not stronger. I hope that's enough, for you, for now.

Extremely happy to have you and tremendously thankful for the day you walked in; terribly terrified with the possibility you might someday walk away...because, honestly, I can't imagine life without you (no matter how cheesy that may sound).

Light | by ~AndieMaars | original On DeviantART

~Andie Fern Maars

Even if sometimes understand you is harder than understanding "Lusíadas", hope you know now.
[Updated 25.11.2012 - I think I'm happy with it now, but any suggestion is welcomed]

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Believe me darling

Believe me darling, I know what you're feeling and I know that is only temporary. Even if now it looks like it's the end of the world. Believe me, it is not. Because one day the tears will eventually dry up, the wounds will heal and the pain will slowly fade away. Because Time is all you need honey. A little or a lot it doesn't matters nor its up to you, but one day you will wake up and notice that the pain is no longer there.

And with time you will also learn to forget, even if now it seems impossible, even if you force yourself to remember, you'll reach the day when you will only remember what is truly important: what you learned and that sometime along that adventure you and him were linked by the same motives, the same feelings. And that's all that matters, nothing else.

Forgiveness is another thing that comes with Time. Although now that looks ridiculous and you only wish for him to suffer the same you do, or even more - knowing that it will probably never happen, because the one who's left behind  always suffers more. But it will come the day you'll wake up and you will no longer hold a grudge against him inside you; even if he never asks for your forgiveness, you're going to forgive him because it just shows how much of a better person you are, were and will ever be - Haven't I told you that countless times darling?

I know that now it seems difficult and possibly humanly impossible but you will get there, as I and so many others before me did.

And who knows, maybe soon you will find someone new - just like I did -, that will make your heart beat faster again? Because with each adventure that ends, there's always another just waiting to start; never forget it my dear.

Remember also that I'm always here, if you need a shoulder where to temporary lay your head...

Believe me, my dear | by ~AndieMaars | On DeviantART

~Andie Fern Maars

A friendly advice to a special friend, from someone that has been there, returned and found a new beginning. Hope you all like it (: