Friday, February 25, 2011

Bird


When I look at what I was 2 or 3 years ago, compared to what I am today, I feel I've changed so much ... There is no way the "present me" could ever feel that the same my “past me” did. However, I don’t know how I could ever feel something like that. But still ... I feel that the past keeps haunting me, wherever I go, whoever I am.

I read my texts over and over again and I think they express well what’s inside my soul… But I feel on them a slight ... ‘track’ of the past, of all those wrong feelings that filled me for what seemed like an eternity. I thought I was free when I started writing again, when the words started making sense again ... But I know I'm not free yet, perhaps never will be...

Someone once told me that the past, good or bad, make us who we are in the present. Maybe it does; no, I’m sure it does but still… Isn’t it possible for me to get rid of it? Just from a tiny little piece of it? But maybe, just maybe, it might have been that “tiny little piece” of past that impulse the change I feel within. Maybe it might have been that “tiny little piece” of past that deleted the piece of me that used to keep me locked inside my shell.

I feel more me now than I ever felt before. Now I know that, and it doesn't matter if it’s in a small number, some people want me around, that, somehow – and I'm still trying to find out how is that possible– I’m important, that they will miss me if I leave. The past it’s not important anymore. My mistakes? Well, I’ll take them; I’ll let them be a part of me if they have to. But they must hide in the shadows, embarrassed by what they did, by what they said, by what they felt. I dare them to try and steal my new light.

I’ll conquer my freedom

[Picture by me]

~Andie Maars

1 comment:

  1. Where ever we go our past walks with us in the present, and the present will be with us in a near future.
    Good or bad our life is like that.

    Day after day We are always changing ,we can't erase the past but we can change until our last breath.

    Just keep walking forward and make the diference.
    :)

    Well keep it up ^^

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